Undeserving

Sometimes I think too much about too little and get lost in thoughts that seems to drag on but never reach their conclusion.

~~~~~

I am undeserving of everything that I have
I have not earned a thing
Even on my best day, my righteousness is nothing
There isn't anything I've ever done to earn
His grace
His love
His forgiveness
His salvation
His life
His hand
His face
The moment God breathed life into my lifeless body
The moment God saved my unworthy soul
The moments God rescued me from self destruction
All of these things are gifts

Who am I to judge another? Who am I to tell someone else in anything but love that they are on the wrong path? No one. And who are you?

We have got to learn how to walk in love. Stop looking at people as if your thoughts and feelings toward them affect anything. We have to learn that instead of hurting one another with our words, our side glances, and our cold hearts, we have got to reach out in the love of Christ. This was God's gift to us. How selfish and cruel to hold it captive from another. Don't you know that this is why we are all here? Not to reach the status quo. Not to achieve our dreams. But to show the love of Christ even when it hurts. And most of the time it does hurt. It should. But this is our burden and our cross. Jesus took everything else.

Give the love of Christ to everyone you meet. It was given to you.

Colossians 2:1-3

The Contentment of Mediocrity

Just a super random thought:

It's so much easier to be content with where you are than to strive to go higher (financially, spiritually, emotionally, etc). I mean, there is so much risk is attempting to better yourself. You risk alienation from your peer group. You risk immersion into an environment with which you are unfamiliar. You risk loosing the status or foothold that you once occupied as a result of giving it up in an effort to move on to something else. Afterall, an old life will not always wait for you while you try out a new one. And of course you risk failing, and falling flat on your face which results in lots of things such as self rejection and public humiliation.

Maybe its just better to stay where you are. Don't risk it. Afterall, you're not starving. You're not that unhappy. You've got some sort of income. Why take a chance and jump if you're only likely to end up worse off than when you started?

What's my take?

I'd rather end up flat broke, depressed, and lonely at the bottom after falling on my face in attempt to climb to an unattainable plateau than to stay in a world full of contentment with mediocrity.

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In other news, vacation spotlight (I'm currently saving up for this one):

Palma Mallorca, Spain

Now I don't speak a lick of spanish. I mean, I probably know 10 words total, including numbers 1 through 5. But this is a vacation spot for many of my family members and all I've heard are good things. I think that sitting on the beach and looking into the dazzling clarity of unoccupied waters appeals to me. I've got God, my dear cousin (who is now a citizen of Spain), and some of the best beaches in the world.

Today I was sad

Today the skies looked pretty gray

I didn't see too much in the future

The past looked like it always has

The tears came and went, and came again

For no particular reason other than...

Well, other than it's Monday

Got my bills paid

Got my health

Got all my teeth

But today, for just a minute

My skies were really gray

It was like being at the bottom of a dark hole

And it's really warm and sunny up top

But my mind was so clouded that I couldn't reach that high

So I sat down in that hole and started to cry

Then I remembered something that He said

You can't enjoy the good if there's never any bad

You see I called you to stand

And folks won't be there all the time

So you have to learn to stand anyway

Even alone, even alone

Don't get discouraged because I've written the end

You're just travelin through

Your hand is in My hand

So keep up with the faith as you go from glory to glory

And don't forget to call on Me

Because I already know the end of this story

Keep travelin through

Keep holdin my hand

Today I was sad

But just for a minute

Because I remember what He said

And I remember all I've put in it

Today I was sad

But just for a minute

I'm over it now and better equipped for the race

But of course He already knew that

~anonymous

You Ever Felt Like that?

Isaiah 6: 5-8

5 "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."
6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."
8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

I love this. Simply put, Isaiah was telling God that I'm unclean. I'm undone. I'm not living up to the standards that You, God, have set for me and I need your help. Take a hot coal from the alter and wash me.

Are you willing to go through a bit of pain to move into a place in your life that's more pleasing to God? I am. I've actually been there (shoot, I might be there right now). And it's a good place to be. You're getting real with God by telling Him a truth that He already knows, and you're getting real with yourself.

What exactly makes this so amazing to me?

#1. Isaiah addressed the problem. He recognized that he was unclean and his folks was in the same boat.

#2. He saw a solution. He set his eyes on the Lord, the solution to his problem.

#3. Sacrifice for progress. He went through an uncomfortable situation (a hot coal on the alter placed on his lips) in order to receive a good old washin from the Lord.

#4. Purification and moving forward. Isaiah went through his struggle, hot coal and all, and moved right along and said "Lord, use me!!" He didn't dwell on his past mistakes. He didn't question if He was qualified. He was available.

Of course after years of studying Psychology I've got to break this down into steps of healing and breakthrough, but it's all so relevant. What is it in your life that could cause you to go through this process? Are you willing to suffer the consequence and sacrifice, that the Lord may bring you to a higher place? If so, that's a good place to be. Ready and willing to serve the Lord!!

Amen!

Anjelica

A Heart That Forgives Campaign!

Kevin Levar

One word...

Amazing

Kevin Levar debuted an amazing album featuring songs straight from the heart about love, unity, and forgiveness. He stands on the foundation that all of these things are possible through Christ. In one particular song on the album, Levar opens his heart to listeners in several minutes of vulnerability and transparency as he prays to the Lord to take away all unforgiveness, because he desires a heart like the Father. Here are a few of Levar's impacting lyrics;

I want a heart that forgives, that lives and let live
One that keeps loving over, and over again
One that men can't offend, because your word is within

One that loves without price like you Lord Jesus Christ

I want a heart that love everybody, even my enemies

Levar is launching A Heat That Forgives Campaign: One Million Acts of Forgiveness alongside the release of the single, A Heart That Forgives. The goals are to restore families, repair friendships, strengthen communities, and empower people, all through the love of Jesus Christ.

I was nearly speechless when I heard an interview with Levar, who was speaking about his upcoming campaign. It is what the world needs; to stop with the bitterness and holding grudges, and allow the Lord to purify us all of bitterness and unforgiveness. What a message of peace and love! What took so long to come out with such a campaign?!

Hop on board. Support Kevin Levar in through participation in the campaign, and by purchasing his amazing album, Let's Come Together.

http://www.aheartthatforgives.com/

Something I've picked up along the way

Someone cusses you out. Your friend creates vicious lies about you. A trusted confidante violates your trust. What is your response? Cuss them right back? Go off and give them a piece of your mind? End the relationship?

Well what I always thought was if someone did something wrong to me, that gave me every right to do it right back. They shouldn't have committed the violation in the first place right? Right. The violation should have never occurred. However, it did. Then what do you do?


Matthew 18:21,22
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven

Now 70 times 7 is 490. So basically Jesus says that we should forgive someone 490 times, but oh on the 491st time its on? Nope. He's saying simply forgive. Don't count how many times they've pissed you off the past. Forgive.

Personally, this is difficult for me because if you make me mad or offend me, I really want to let you know what the deal really is, and why your absence in my life would be advantageous for all applicable parties. But as my heart is becoming more like my Creator's, I can no longer be like that. I'm so learning how to forgive for real! Now don't get it twisted. That doesn't mean that I can easily be taken advantage of. I'm trying to incorporate wisdom into this as well. But its like this; you've messed up. You've betrayed my trust. However, I have release you from the punishment of being unforgiven because I want to be like Jesus. Not because I feel like releasing you, but because I have to in order to please God.

I'm pretty sure the Lord doesn't hold it against me everything time I tell Him I'll do something and don't follow through, or every time I make a mistake. When I come back to Him and say God I need this or that, God doesn't say "well, I don't know because you was real triflin with me yesterday." Because He loved me, He saved me. Because He loves me, He keeps me. Not because I've made no mistakes, but because He just loves me. And I want that type of love to reside in my heart. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that real love keeps no record on wrongdoings. I've stopped keeping track.

A friend of mine thinks its crazy for me to be concerned about the affairs of someone who has crossed the line too many times, but I don't. If I don't help someone who has offended me because I don't believe they deserve or have earned my help, wouldn't the Lord hold me accountable for that? I believe that He would, and I'm not letting my emotions and stubbornness get in the way of my making to heaven. It isn't about being strong and standing up for yourself, and making the point that I'm not one to be messed with. It's about being like Jesus, and saying because I am a representative of the Father, I have to be available to His people as He wants me to be; a light, a vessel, and a symbol of His love.

Plus holding grudges takes so much energy. You're distracted when you're around that person because you replaying the hurtful situations and conversations in your mind. You can't seem to just forget about it, and that is because you haven't forgiven. We weren't created to walk around harboring bitterness and unforgiveness, regardless of the offense. And harboring those things in your heart will land you in hell right along with the liers and murderers. Jesus is coming back for a church without spot or wrinkle, and I'm guessing that unforgiveness is a big ugly spot to God.

Release those people against which you harbor unforgiveness. Not necessarily for that person, but so you can experience freedom to be available to love them as God loves you.

Here is a few helpful references:

Matthew 18:22
1 Corinthians 13:5
Ephesians 5:27
2 Chronicles 7:14
Jeremiah 31:34
Matthew 6:14

~A work in progress~ ♥

Sumn about San Francisco

You know what? I love to travel! You know what else? I love to travel to awesome cities. My after what has felt like non-stop traveling back and forth to random cities over the past 6 months I was very pleased to return to one of my favs....SAN FRANCISCO!

So I haven't posted any pics of my recent endeavors to the great (and not so great) cities of our country, so here is just a few!

Detroit in the bg

Chi-town!!

Chi town again!

Well a tough semester had just ended and I needed to get away somewhere, which is crazy cuz I been hoppin planes like someone is after me. But I got just what I needed. I got to see some family I haven't seen in a few years, spend some time with a beloved cousin, shop until my chucks bout gave out on me in the coolest thrift stores in the world, listen to live bands play on stoops in the city, watch the fog roll in from the bay, watch the sun set over the Pacific....basically, I loved every moment of it. I even loved that my flight to CA was cancelled. You see, when I got to the airport, they wonderful, personality-LESS lady at the desk informed me that my flight had been cancelled. Well lately I've been trying to not let the cares of this old world move me and wreck my mood. So I calmly asked that precious desk agent to find a solution, b/c I needed to get the CA. Well folks she did...FIRST CLASS!

OMG...now I know I'm somewhat of a country girl and I sure felt like it when I got escorted to my first class seat. (thats what they do in first class...they escort you). So when I sat down in my recliner the flight attendant not only asked me what I wanted to drink, but also if I wanted the chicken and cous cous, or pasta. Umm...well I don't know too much about airplane food so I chose the pasta. And guys, it was BOMB! OMG!! And I got free movies, food, drinks, blankets, pillows, basically anything I wanted the entire duration of the flight. It was heaven. Ohhhh it was heaven. I wasn't sitting right up on somebody, and wasn't nobody sitting right up on me! HEAVEN!

I got there to find a warm greeting from my cousin, my auntie and her british husband Keith. You know one of my favorite things is to walk through security at the airport after a long and tiring flight only to be greated with hugs and kissed from loved ones. I mean seriously, its kinda weird, but I LOVE it!

All in all folks, the Lord has given me a wonderful life. I never planned on doing so much traveling and meeting so many people at such a random time in my life. One minute I'm grinding, working 50+ hours a week and going to school. The next I'm hoppin flights and meeting some of the most wonderful people I've ever met. The cares and worries I was use to carrying melted away and God just opened my eyes to a fraction of what He means my life to be. I always prayed and waiting for the Lord to do something awesome, but it seems like He was moving soooo slooooowwww. But during that entire time that I was waiting for Him to shake some things up, He was teaching me how to handle it once He did.

I guess grateful would be the word.

Well I'm planning my next trip and guess where I'm goin...CHICAGO!! lol I LOVE that city. I think this will be my third or fourth trip this year. Can't wait! 5 days of seeking God, prayer, eating, worshipping, laughing, sharing with friends and family.

Thank you for the life You've given me. I wouldn't dare ask for a different one when You've made Yourself so majestic in this one.

I pray that you will find every bit of joy and peace that the Lord has for you. I pray that you specifically will find what it means to completely trust the Lord in everything. I pray that you will never allow yourself to be separated from the love of God.

~Sister in Christ~