Umm...I just love Him

When I was not seeking a change

You changed my world to capture my heart

When I was not concerned with your will

You broke me of my own....

~These are just a few words that I had swirling around in my head.

I just got back from an AMAZING time in Chicago. We had a great time. Along with our time with Pastor Niecy, I got to meet and chat with Kimberly Ray (LOVE HER!!), pray and sing and chill with Tanya Ray (LOVE HER!!), and meet, greet, and eat with several other amazing people.

(Tanya Ray)

We arrived in Chicago Friday morning and at once began to act a fool (Courtney and I that is).

(Pastor Niecy)

We were kind of nervous about meeting up with Pastor Niecy again because the last time we spent time with her, well...let's just say she brought a lot of things to light which forced both of us to focus on pressing for a deeper relationship with God. Well, this time was no different. Folks, Pastor Niecy gave us the BUSINESS! LOL She is so loving and kind, but in a brutally honest kind of way. She explained it to me like this: she will not

spare my feelings because she doesn't want to see me being held back by anything, so if it means a feeling here or there is hurt, or I'm out of my pretty little comfort zone, so be it. All I can say is I love her. On our last day there we were eating at this place called Leona's (Praise God for CHICAGO ITALIAN FOOD) I asked her when it was that she began to really live for Christ. She said she was 16. She also said she wishes that she hadn't wasted so much time (as if age 16 wasn't super young to be sold out for Christ). Then she just began to talk about her love for God and the tough Pastor Niecy literally started to cry talking about how much she loved God. I will never forget that moment...ever. I love my G.M. Pastor Niecy!

The last dinner was kind of funny. So in case you didn't know...I LOVE Whitney Houston. I'm sitting at this table across from people who believe in a 100% holy lifestyle and a Whitney Houston video comes on. And not just ANY video, but How Will I Know. Automatically, I start to do a little jig. Not on purpose, its just my natural reaction to Whitney Houston. lol And this small action of mine began one of the most interesting conversations of my life.

Sitting with from Pastor Niecy and three three other members of her church, I pose the question; "Y'all don't listen to secular music?" The question was later expanded to going to movies, watching tv for entertainment, etc. I'm probably gonna write a whole blog just on this conversation, but in short, Pastor Niecy explained it like this; it's not a sin or anything to go to movies and all of that, but if she sees something as being unproductive in terms of building up the kingdom of God, it's pointless. I understood her point of view. I personally enjoy going to the movies and certain secular artists, however I do understand that our purpose is not to be entertained, but to dedicate our lives to the cause of Christ; to be living sacrifices.

In December of 2008 I made the decision to cut out music that is blatantly against what I know the Lord represents. Although I had a secret love for Lil Wayne and Drake, I've had to cut them out, and it's not because I don't think they're not talented. They both have a peculiar way of expression, however, they do not represent God in any way, shape or form. So the ladies with whom I was eating had that same mindset, only it expanded to a more broad spectrum of entertainment. They did say that they watch some t.v., movies, etc., however not a lot because they are so submerged in their lives with God that they simply don't have that kind of time to waste.

(Pastor Kimberly Ray)

I really needed this trip. Before I left, I knew that I was more on fire for God then I had ever been. Now, a few days later, you know what? I am more on fire for God then I have ever been! LOL Every comfort, every material thing, even every relationship is nothing compared to the comfort, love, and compassion that my Father has given me. I live to make Him happy. I live to be available to Him. Every morning I wake up and I want to be closer to God than I was the day before. I want to hear Him more clearly. I want a greater level of faith. I believe I said this in an earlier blog, but this year I want that "walk on water" type of faith. No joke; "unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord" (1 Corinthians 15:58).

Alright, so I'm still working on me. Who knew with they signed up for this Christian walk that it would take so much trial, error, tears, late nights, brokenness, periods of isolation, etc. I sure didn't know. But now that I know how steep the requirements can be, I'm also aware of how worth it He is. I am full of faults and inconsistencies...FULL. However everyday I'm learning that the God who grants me grace each day is willing to work on me if I am willing to work with Him.

I was talking with a friend the other day, just trying to encourage her about a mistake that she had made and was still feeling guilty and condemned 3 years later. In encouraging her, I encouraged myself. I was telling her that nothing we do can surprise God. He knows every unclean thing that resides in our hearts. He knows what we've managed to hide from everyone else. And in knowing all of that, He still chooses to make available His grace and forgiveness, if only we'd ask Him and decide to walk in His light (1 John 1:7). I realized something in that conversation, and that is every feeling of guilt, failure, etc. can be washed away with a deeper revelation of His grace. The Lord delights in forgiving us, but we first must come to Him, ready and willing to receive it.

I just wanna make you happy/I just wanna make you smile/I just wanna make you proud that I'm your child

~My Father's child

Rockin!!

Hey peoples.

Today is the BEST day ever. No wait...yesterday was the BEST day ever! NO wait....it seems that all my days these days are the BEST most ROCKINEST days ever. I can honestly say that these past few weeks have been amazing. Why you ask? Well there is a number of things:


#1. I'm learning what it means to surrender

-It is so hard for me sometimes to surrender the things I carry to God because well, I like to be independent and think that "hey, I'm strong. I can handle it." No ma'am. I will only
rejoice in my weakness, because that is when my God flexes His muscles for me!

#2. My relationships are wonderful
-I'm learning that power that good and not so good relationships have. I am learning that you should pour into the lives of those you are in relationship with, as well as be poured in to. In the past few months I have made some WONDERFUL new relationships and changed some old ones. I believe that I can truly say that my people (the ones I see often, and even
the ones I don't see so much) are the greatest people.

#3. I'm learning the value of communication
-The other day I had a little discussion with a friend about what makes relationships work. We came up with you things: keeping the Lord at the center, and communicating.

#4. Spiritual Rejuvenation
-I know that when you read my blogs you must be like..."this girl is ALWAYS being 'spiritually rejuvenated'." Well....you're right. I am not content with being in the same spiritual place every day. I'm not content with being comfortable. For a while I just wanted the Lord to change my life...make me uncomfortable. umm...He did it. He shook some things up, turned some things around, and moved the ground on which I stood and thought was solid. So for a minute there I was like..."ummm hold up Jesus. I didn't know you was gon do all this!" After that short period of hesitation I'm just like..."Lord do what you gotta do! I don't want to be the same ever. Move me. Change me. Make me a better vessel to carry your glory." *It's amazing how your attitude changes with other stuff stopsmattering and your focus in completely on how can you give God glory every day.

Current events: I'm going to Chicago this week-end. I am very excited. I haven't been to Chicago in a really long time. I'm going to visit the Ray Sisters and attend a couple of their service. (I'll add a vid of two of them on here later on today...youtube doesn't work at my current location). I'm also very excited to eat eat eat!!! ALSO I plan to start guitar lessons really soon. I can pick my way through a song, but its about time to get some theory and technique down. AND I'm on the prowl for a new humble abode. I think I've found it! Ladies and gentlemen, it was yellow, with light blue shutters and a white picketed patio. I LOVE it!!! It's so bright and sunny. AND (lol) I'm making a scrapbook for a friend. So in case you didn't know, I don't think I'm the best at scrap booking, but I'm super excited to do it! I hope it turns out well. Ok...one more thing. I'm making a skirt for Courtney. I'm praying it turns out right! LOL It's harder than I thought it would be, but I think it should work. Let's just pray it fits her! I'll put a pic up as soon as I'm done.

Word of the day: Love

We as Saints of God are always looking for opportunities to minister. Minister in song, dance, public speaking. You know what I believe is the most effective ministry? Loving other people. That means speaking to people you may not necessarily want to speak to. Being available to serve others. Praying for those that are close to you and not so close to you. Just loving others because this is the ministry that God has given each of us.





In the Love of Christ,



Anjelica

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

Hey peoples,



I don't really have much to say other than God is sooo faithful. No matter what you will ever face, when God makes a promise, He WILL fulfil it!



I am grateful!



I went to think night of straight up WORSHIP in Spring Hill. It was called the Awakening. I LOVED IT!!!! AHHH Basically we were probably there for maybe 3 hours or so and the entire night was full of worship and praying for one another. At one point we teamed up with someone we did not know and prayed for one another. I ended up with a lady named Tracy. I have never met her before, but I quickly learned that she is the BOMB. I gave her my prayer request and she truly came out of herself and began to pray heaven DOWN! She was so sweet and I could tell that she loved God and that was it. You know how you meet someone and you don't really have to wonder about their motives or whatever, you just know by the spirit that they are one of the Saints. That's what it was like for me when I met Tracy. So anyway she prayed for me, and I prayed for her....it was great!

Then we worshiped and a lady (I think her name was Monica, the facilitator of The Awakening) got up on the mic and just began to pray and call upon God, and then she called this lady up to the front. This lady was just another attendee of The Awakening. Monica then began to pray and prophesy over this lady and it was wonderful. It was such a spirit of freedom and openness for the spirit of God to move however He wanted to. After that lady sat down (well actually, she fell out, but they picked her up and took her back to her chair) Monica looked in my direction, pointed to me and said...."you, come here. Come on up." Now you know my heart stopped right? LOL

Side note: This isn't the first time this has happened to me, and I'm beginning to wonder like...Lord, whats UP??! lol

So anyway, Monica began to pray and just speak what she heard God saying, and another guy came up and do the same. It was an amazing experience because although everything that was said was like confirmation and encouragement about what I'm currently going through. I love when God just comes with the right word at the right time, even if it's just to say..."I am your God, and I am still here with you." God doesn't have to say anything profound. I've found out that it's enough to know that He is still with me. Psalm 39 says no matter where I am, the Lord is there. He was using this night to just remind me that He is still here with me, and that I need to keep fighting and reaching for Him, regardless of whats popping up around me.

After they were done speaking over me, Tracy came back up. I was confused because she didn't say anything. So I thought I was done, and I started to go back to my seat. Well they called me BACK up there because Tracy had a song she wanted to sing over me. It was AMAZING!! It wasn't a song that I've ever heard. It didn't even sound like it was coming from Tracy. It was like Tracy was not even conscious of the words she was singing, but she was at that moment, a vessel. I've never experienced anything like that before, and all I could do was close my eyes and receive.

For the next hour I worshipped. I don't know what was going on around me. God is amazing. Then Beckah Shae (I met her a few weeks earlier at Abba's Heart) came up to me and gave me a wonderful word of encouragement. I love people who step out and commit their lives to being a messenger for the Lord.

I'm learning slowly but surely that God uses people at different times to minister to you in different ways, but at the end of the day our job is to learn from them and receive what God had for you in that relationship to receive, and remain in God's embrace. Whether or not that relationship lasts forever or a week, there is purpose in it. I thank God for everyone that is currently in my life, and those who were but are no longer because as I said, there is purpose in it ALL.

My current focus: God. LOL Like fa real. I love my time with Him. Don't get me wrong, I love my peeps, but their is nothing like taking yourself away and being with God. I'm finding more and more that my fulfillment is so not in my relationships with other people. They are only supplemental. God is my source of EVERYTHING I will ever need. I am so grateful that the Lord had to take me through some things for me to realize that. He is faithful in that He loves us too much to leave us as we are (Thanks Max Lucado). There is nothing the Lord will not do to draw us, and no matter how uncomfortable or lonely that place may have been for me, I love the outcome!

Alright, I need to get back to work. I have too much stuff to do for school. Graduation: 8 months!!

Great is Thy Faithfulness...it makes me only want to be more faithful.

Word of the day: You guessed it...faithful.

Anjelica