The Other Side

On December 12, 2009 I wrote a blog about increasing my faith and becoming closer to God. I told myself that in 2010 I want to walk on water. Well I didn't literally walk on water, I'm still working on that one lol. But I did walk on top of a lot of things I used to think were so deep and uncrossable. Things that seemed to tower far above my courage and abilities. In 2010 I learned something. I will come across a ton of things that will tower over, but out of all these things none will tower over God. I can think of two things in particular that were giants to me. I'll mention one: REJECTION!!!


I was always afraid of being alone, not having someone to talk to. Being disliked by everyone. Being left out. Being forgetten about. I had to face that this year. Not one more year is this thing going to stop me from growing and reaching my goals.


The fear of failure keeps so many people paralyzed. The fear of being alienated keeps so many people from speaking the truth. The fear of coming up short keeps so many people from even starting. Fear fear fear fear fear! If the enemy had one brilliant plan of action against the people of God, it's fear. It stops us in our tracks.


My fear was rejection. I couldn't fathom it. I didn't even want to imagine it. Then one day I decided to go for broke. The whole world could hate me for all I cared. I needed to get in the face of God and disregard everything else. You guys, when I tell you that rejection was my giant, I mean that. It was paralyzing. But like I said, nothing is too big for God. When I told God I wanted to overcome it and would do anything to do just that, it was like he said "alright. Lets get to it!!"


Exactly one year later that giant called rejection doesn't seem like such a giant to me anymore. It's more like a memory. I can remember the feelings it had caused me at one point. I remember the tears it pulled up from somewhere inside. I remember the anger I felt because I felt rejected. Thank God for deliverance and freedom! Thank God for hearing my prayer. Thank God for loving me enough to take me through it to get me out. I guess He really does love me too much to leave me as I am. A glorious mess.


So 2011. I wonder what giants will be tackled this year. I wonder what God has in store. I honestly can't imagine because 2010 held so much more than I could have ever expected. I won't even try to speculate about 2011. All I can is Lord, do whatever you want. I'll do my best to go along with you, leaning not to my own understanding.


2011....STILL walking on water!!! STILL tackling these ugly faced, cross eyed giants.


As someone once told me, and I've found to be quite fitting. "See you on the other side."

♥Walkin on water

2011???!!! WT...

So it is upon on. Another year. Another chance to evaluate your progress of the last 12 months. How did you do?

Well, I completed all my coursework for my Master's program. That's something huh? I really liked Lipscomb, however my time there was short, and therefor did not get a chance to form any long lasting ties with the school. But my experience there was great. From professors whose favorite word was "trick" in the street walker sense of the word to the Christmas tree lighting ceremony to the Jason's Deli they feed the graduate students during finals.

I had some spiritual reconstructive surgery. Wasn't all that enjoyable, but the results I must say made it worth it. I guess I never really understood freedom until I had a taste of it. The amazing sense of being weighed down by nothing when you wake up in the morning. The discreet appearance of a smile or no reason in particular other than the vision of the sky, or random people walking down the street, or thoughts of how blessed you really are. Relationships that are stress free and honest. All of this stuff came through a bit of a painful process, but gold must be refined, yes?

I got bit by the travel bug a bit this year. I've discovered what is known to the common man as a "week-ender" in the non-sexual sense of the word. I found much joy and relaxation in taking a 3 or 4-day week-end to travel outside of my zip code. Chicago, San Francisco, Chicago, Detroit, Chicago, a select few of America's best small towns.....Chicago. LOL Guess where I'll be bringing in the new year?

A new job! With more money comes greater responsibility. But does it not say that when you are faithful over what little you have, you'll get your chance to be faithful over a more? Well folks, tis true!

~~~~~

I pray that your new year will bring you more joy than you could ask for, more favor than you could imagine, more freedom than you could fathom, and more peace than you know what to do with. Live and be grateful for each blessing. Take nothing for granted. Be kind to those around you. Be available for the Lord to use you. And don't forget to smile, be happy!

I love you guys!!

(Favorite pic of the year. Check out the reflection in the piano! lol)