The Other Side

On December 12, 2009 I wrote a blog about increasing my faith and becoming closer to God. I told myself that in 2010 I want to walk on water. Well I didn't literally walk on water, I'm still working on that one lol. But I did walk on top of a lot of things I used to think were so deep and uncrossable. Things that seemed to tower far above my courage and abilities. In 2010 I learned something. I will come across a ton of things that will tower over, but out of all these things none will tower over God. I can think of two things in particular that were giants to me. I'll mention one: REJECTION!!!


I was always afraid of being alone, not having someone to talk to. Being disliked by everyone. Being left out. Being forgetten about. I had to face that this year. Not one more year is this thing going to stop me from growing and reaching my goals.


The fear of failure keeps so many people paralyzed. The fear of being alienated keeps so many people from speaking the truth. The fear of coming up short keeps so many people from even starting. Fear fear fear fear fear! If the enemy had one brilliant plan of action against the people of God, it's fear. It stops us in our tracks.


My fear was rejection. I couldn't fathom it. I didn't even want to imagine it. Then one day I decided to go for broke. The whole world could hate me for all I cared. I needed to get in the face of God and disregard everything else. You guys, when I tell you that rejection was my giant, I mean that. It was paralyzing. But like I said, nothing is too big for God. When I told God I wanted to overcome it and would do anything to do just that, it was like he said "alright. Lets get to it!!"


Exactly one year later that giant called rejection doesn't seem like such a giant to me anymore. It's more like a memory. I can remember the feelings it had caused me at one point. I remember the tears it pulled up from somewhere inside. I remember the anger I felt because I felt rejected. Thank God for deliverance and freedom! Thank God for hearing my prayer. Thank God for loving me enough to take me through it to get me out. I guess He really does love me too much to leave me as I am. A glorious mess.


So 2011. I wonder what giants will be tackled this year. I wonder what God has in store. I honestly can't imagine because 2010 held so much more than I could have ever expected. I won't even try to speculate about 2011. All I can is Lord, do whatever you want. I'll do my best to go along with you, leaning not to my own understanding.


2011....STILL walking on water!!! STILL tackling these ugly faced, cross eyed giants.


As someone once told me, and I've found to be quite fitting. "See you on the other side."

♥Walkin on water