...and it all went down in 2009

Hey hey hey!!

I'm gonna start by being off topic. You know that song..."livin He loved me, dyin He saved me, buried He carried my sins far away. Risin He justified and freed me forever. One day He's comin, one glorious day." That's been stuck in my head for, I don't know...like 3 months. That is the jam though...the old school jam. Like the real old school, the I only wear skirts and no make-up old school.

~~~~~

I just thought I'd take a look back on 2009. You do know that we've got like..IDK...8 days left in this year right? It's so funny because its Dec. 23 and I haven't bought one Christmas present yet. LOL. Since I've given up all hope for doing that...I'm gonna give my people their Christmas presents at random times. Gift wrapped and everything. Hey! I'd love a wrapped Christmas present in March...wouldn't you?

So...let's go back...

January, 2009. I began the last semester of my undergraduate career. My thesis was done and published, I was planning my exit from My Sister's Keeper, I was deciding where I was going to school for the next few years, I had lost a roommate and got another (which turned out to be one of the best roomies I've ever had!), and that's only the beginning. Little did Anjelica (that's me!) know, that the Lord had begun a serious serious serious work in me. Pruning me of a whole bunch of crap I was carrying around.

I remember receiving a call from Dr. Tom Burton of Texas A&M University. "Anjelica, congratulations, you are 1 of 7 people out of a thousand applicants to be accepted into the Doctorate Counseling Psychology program. In just a few years, I'll be calling you Dr. Crawford." Hallelujah! Hallelujah? I was so hype. So excited. I was the bomb! I had done it. Pulled myself up by my boot straps and was on my way to success. But wait....where was God in this whole situation you might ask? Well you see, this is how I figured it all. I was the one who studied, took a whole bunch of classes, conducted research, wrote a thesis, excelled on the GRE, spent a TON of money applying to all these programs, blah blah blah. So...I figured because I did all this, I should be able to go where I want to go (I didn't know the definition of self righteousness at the time). Well the day came when the decision had to be made, and for some reason, I felt so uneasy about accepting their offer. You know how do something just plain wrong, and you can't stop thinking about it. That's how it felt. And I didn't understand it because this was a good thing. I was taking a huge step in my education and my career. And yet the million dollar question remains...where was God? I had to decline the offer. People didn't know, but I was not happy about doing that, but I'm usually pretty good at smiling regardless of how I feel. I had not consulted God once in the whole process of decided where I was going to spend the next 4 years of my life. I had sought counsel from academic mentors, professors, practicing psychologists, and the list goes one. There was however one HUGE error that I had made, which would stop the entire process and void every plan; I did not include God on that list. By accepting the offer from Texas A&M I was saying that I didn't need God. I could obviously achieve whatever I set my mind to on my own. Why consult God when the plan is already coming together? I realized how unhappy God was with the course of my recent actions that did not involve Him. He wanted to be involved, and although I didn't know it at the time, I needed for Him to be involved. I loved Him, yes, but I didn't trust Him. And trusting Him is what was being required of me. So I chose a local private school and still I sometimes think to myself...I went above and beyond in my undergrad years for this? But then I have to remind myself that this is where God wants me to be, which means I am in the right place.

2009 was also the year of Blu21. Don't remember?

"The color Blu: Calm, cool, depth, stability, tranquility21: The best age ever!Blu21 is representative of its members (jessica stix and myself).

What we are about:2 guitars...2 voices...1 worship. Blu21 is about simple worship. If we're not showing our love for God on stage, we exalting Him at home. We believe in worship, and now is the time to stand up and show people who God is. We're not perfect, but we pray every day that God fills us more and more with Himself."

Though the chords of Blu21's songs haven't been plucked in quite a while, they're still awesome...don't get it twisted lol. Great memories and fun times. What better way to share the love of God with others than sing about "how great He is", how it feels so good to be "broken", "how I love Him", how there is such power "in the name of Jesus"? I can't think of a better way to have brought in 2009; worship, which is simply "love responding to love."

Oh yes. 2009 brought me some new friends. I think it must have been around February or so when I met my bud AJ. AJ is just peculiar enough for me to love her. She is unlike anyone else I've ever met. Her gift of music is beyond just about everyone you hear on the radio these days. Her energy seems to peak at like 1am, which I'm still not understanding lol. She quiet and keeps to herself, but at the same time is slick wild (in a good way). Her cat is the biggest feline I've ever seen that is not in a cage. Then around May or June (I think) came Melissa and Sabrina. I joined the church that they attend and somehow, we met, clicked, and have hung tight ever since. I love them both very dearly. I moved from Murfreesboro just months before and hadn't really made any close friends in my area, and they just so happened to live pretty darn close. And then there is Sophie. The final person in "the roommates." Melissa and Sabrina "gave" me to Sophie when she was in Florida. It turned out that we have so many similarities that it has become creepy ;-)

Fast forward to August 2009. It was then I became a Bison. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I hung up my Blue Raider shoes and put on my Bison horns (do Bisons have horns?). I walked to my first graduate class, Theories of Counseling with Dr. Pruitt (who loved to use random and sometimes offensive words. Referring to someone as a "trick" for example). Lipscomb University is a private Christian college, and believe you me, I wouldn't have picked it in any usual circumstance, but everything with God has a tendency to be unusual ;-)

I first thought Lipscomb would be sooo uptight and close minded because (no offense) that is how "Christians" often are. I was so wrong. Lipscomb turned out to be an amazing thing for me. Not only were these people not uptight, but they were open minded enough to believe the word of God in a world that says it's false, and bold enough to proclaim it. They stand on a scientific model, but they also understand that God does not follow the laws that man has put on Him. And as believing scientists, we have to try and prove our views with statistics, but at the end of the day our main job is to make sure God is glorified and people are shown in the direction of His light.

Hmm...what else happened in August? Oh yes, JAMAICA!!! I first heard about this possible mission trip to Jamaica back in maybe May, and I was so down. Then time came for it to take place and I did not have money. Bummer...but I had decided to have faith and believe God.

I learned something very valuable here; there is a difference between what seems like faith and real faith. What seems like faith can make you look real holy and give the impression that you and God are real tight. However, there is no power in what seems like faith. And there is no healing and deliverance in what seems like faith. But real faith on the other hand? Oh real faith can quicken the dead, heal the incurable, and move any mountain that you come up against. It is unfortunate for the body of Christ (apart from a few exceptions) that it's uncommon to really tap into that kind of faith like Paul and Peter and them did back in the day.

The other day I was visiting with some of the "Jamaica crew" and the question was asked if we would do it again? The majority of the people said no. I honestly could not relate to this. There were so many children there who faces literally lit up when they saw us coming to camp each morning. We had open air services where people in the community would just walk by and by the end of it all, end up giving their lives to Christ. I met so many great people and formed what I know to be long lasting relationships. And oh my Jesus, the beach!! I have been on a lot of beach from here in the US to the beaches of Southern Europe, but I have never seen a beach like that. I think it was different because we were on an island. It feels different to be on an island. My friend Tianna and I were just sitting on the beach one day and trying to figure out in which direction the U.S. was located, which sadly took us a minute (actually, I'm not sure if we ever really figured it out) .

I took a lot back with me from Jamaica. One thing for which I would go all over again is the appreciation for something as simple and complex as life. They didn't own much in Jamaica. They weren't rich by anyones standards. They ate only the most simple of foods. They wore simple clothes. But I noticed that when they got together about God, they didn't ask Him for XYZ. They didn't say..."Lord, give me more money. You want me to be blessed so bless with a bigger house." In short, they said thank you Lord for what you've given me, and thank you that You'll make up for anything that is lacking. They aren't begging God for stuff, they are begging God for God, and thanking Him for the little stuff that they had. I wouldn't change one day about Jamaica, not one.

As you can see, 2009 was an eventful year for, and this is not even half of what went on. But at the end of it all I can only say Thank You LORD!! Every single thing that went down in 2009 brought me closer to you. I can only pray that 2010 will do the same, and much more.

Everyone has these new years resolutions of studying more, spending less money, being more focused, etc. And those are some of mine as well. But my overall objective is to search out those things that God has concealed (Proverbs 25:2). According to King James, that's where honor is, so that's where I wanna be. Wrapped up in the faith and knowledge of Christ, walking on water and speaking to storms. My family slick calls me an extra holy roller. I slick don't care. In 2010, I'm walking on water.

~Call me Jel~