Ode to D-Town

I took my first trip to Detroit last week-end, and I must say. I had a great time overall. I got to see much of my Chicago family and attend a wonderful prayer service at Pastor Marvin Winans church, Perfecting Faith.

FYI: I LOVE Marvin Winans. I just love that whole family! Do you think they'll adopt me at 22?

So anyway we arrive in Detroit Friday morning and get our rental car. We staying at the Westin in the middle of downtown Detroit. Check it out:

(The view from outside. The Westin Book Cadillac opened in 1924 and was at one point the tallest hotel in the country. This city has tons of history, and some beautiful architecture.)

(The bathroom was freakin amazing. It was like the size of my bedroom at home *sigh* It was so pretty, I could have slept in the tub.)

(I didn't want to go home. Why do some people complain about having to live out of hotels?)

When we were driving to the hotel we drove down what must have been "the spot" back in the day. There were amazing old school movie theaters with the lighted marquees and juke joint lookin restaurants that have unfortunately all closed down. What was once beautiful and lively was dead. The buildings were boarded up and the windows were broken. Brick walls were crumbling and signs featuring musical performances had fallen apart. It was like someone had deserted the city. There were very few people on the streets, and those that were looked like they didn't want to be there. The remnant citizens of Detroit must only hope to rebuild the city to its former glory...but baby, its got a long way to go.

On to the prayer service...

You know how old folks always say "we used to have all night prayer services or shut ins..." Well I wasn't sure if I actually interpreted as "all night prayer services" or fa real "shut ins." I mean, I've never been to either. Seriously, how can someone pray ALL night? Come one now. Well let me tell you, I am now a believer. lol This particular prayer services lasted only up until around midnight or 1am, but it gave me a glimpse of what one of these all night services must have been like. We sang, danced, prayed together, prayed apart, and shouted for hours. I learned about different levels of prayer (petition, intercession, warfare, etc.) I'm also quickly learning how prayer is one of our greatest weapons against the enemy.

For someone who once thought prayer was boring and only old people really did it, I've come a long way. God equipped us with a wonderful weapon in prayer with which we can call upon heaven to fight on our behalf. How foolish and naiive to take that thing for granted.

Anway Detroit was great, just not for the city. The people, the food, the prayer service...it was ALL the bomb. I think I'll plan another trip to motor city one of these good ol days when I have a little more time.

Let Yourself Go!

Caution: Personal blogging ahead!

I told you about my trip to Chicago. It was awesome. Have you further questions, refer to that blog.

Well anyway Godmommy told me something when I was there; "I hold back in worship." HUH?

So we were at church in Chicago and the spirit of God was so heavy. You could not possibly be in that place and not feel His very glory! Well I was in straight worship but I felt like there was a distance between me and Lord still. I don't understand why. I was worshipping. He had my attention...so I thought. Well apparently Pastor Kim caught that up in the spirit because she straight up called me out! "Anjelica! Get on outta there Anjelica. Come here." Yup, she called me to the front of the church. Later after we'd gotten home I asked what the deal was. Why would I have to come outta my row to the front of the church? The response was this: sometimes when you're trying to get to a greater level of worship you've got to remove any hindrances around you. That may require you to physically MOVE yourself and REMOVE some things.

One thing that Pastor Kim always says is "get your mind off of you." I know for me it can be difficult at times to completely let go in worship. Its not that I'm not focusing on God or anything, but I just don't wanna be the last person standing up not realizing that everyone else has moved on! lol *so embarrassing* One more than one occasion (four actually) different people, with no connect, have told me that the Lord wants to take me to another level of worship but fear is holding me back. I didn't quite understand this until very very recently. I'm working on getting my mind off of me.

This past Sunday at my home church was awesome. I feel like I've gotten one step closer in getting my mind off of me and more on the Lord. There were times in worship where I was crying and even wailing so hard that I think I almost threw up (lol...is that normal?). I couldn't help it. The Lord is so amazing, and in those moments all I could feel was His presence. I don't know what the people sitting to my left and my right were doing. I didn't care. I'm not even sure if I knew whether or not the church in general was still in worship. I didn't matter. In those few moments my mind was not on me; I was free.

Later on in the service the Lord led me to get out of my seat and pray, however it was awkward and I didn't want to cuz it was uncomfortable! UGH Well thank you Lord for an extra push because someone else walked up to me and told me to do exactly what the Lord had told me. Why I can't ever seem to listen when God tells me the first time I don't know! Pray fa me lol So I did just that. I got out of my seat and prayed. I let go of the fact that people would look at me funny. I let go of the fact that I didn't really want to and I thought I could just pray quite effectively from my seat. I let go of every hindering thought that exalted itself above what the Lord had said. I got my butt up, walked down to the alter, and prayed. I prayed for exactly what I heard to the Lord tell me to pray for....and something happened. I watched someone get free! I watched someone who carried a burden so heavy get a release. I don't know what that burden was. I don't care what it was...it doesn't matter to me. All I know is that the Lord used the agreement, obedience, and surrender of the saints to break a chain of bondage.

I praise God for that. I praise God for making me uncomfortable. I think the world would be a much better place if we all got this revelation: You do not matter in comparison to the will of God. Realize that unless you and me both obey what the Lord is saying, He will move us out of the way and make room for someone that will say "yes Lord." What I want, what I dream of, what makes me feel good, etc, does not matter unless it is the will of God.

My work in progress: Allow the Holy Spirit to have complete control. In worship, I won't think of anything else but the Lord, not even myself. In everyday life, obey the Lord, period. Who cares if people think you're crazy or they talk about you. Guess what? It doesn't matter. Those people don't have a heaven or hell to put you in. Be obedient to what the Lord is saying to you. Let yourself be led by the Lord.

~An endless work in progress~

♫I JUST WANT TO TOUCH YOUR HEART ♫

As we fall down before You
With our willing hearts, we seek
In the greatness of Your glory
It's so hard to even speak

There is nothing we can offer
No, nothing can repay
So we give You all our praises
And lift our voice to sing

We give You glory
Lifting up our hands and singing
Holy, You alone are worthy
We just want to touch Your heart, Lord
Touch Your heart♪

~Jeremy Camp

On my way to church today this song came on and I totally embarrassed myself for its duration. This song really freakin touched me today! OMG I was officially jammin SO HARD. Rockin and singin, lifting my hands and worshipping. YESSUH!! (lol) Folks were drivin past me or I was drivin past them and they looked at me like I was crazy....which I prolly am.

If you haven't heard this song you need to and just allow the words to penetrate your mind and heart. The Lord alone is worthy, and I just want to touch His heart with my worship, period. Don't care much about what folks drivin past me think. They can't touch His heart for me so...*singing* "Glory, liftin up my hands and singin holy, You alone are worthy....."

Who is this king of Glory?

Life up your head oh ye gates
And be ye lifted up you everlasting doors
That the King of glory may come in
Who is this King of glory?
The Lord of hosts
He is the King of Glory

Psalm 24


Well there is a lot of good things going on in my life right now. And all I can say is that I'm chalking it up to having the joy of the Lord; my strength (Nehemiah 8).

I am learning something that I wish I would have learned a long time ago, and something that some people never learn. I'm learning to be happy with Jesus. There is nothing I want more in this world than Jesus. I know that if I can just get to Him, my problems will be so small. If I can just get to Him my fears and hurts won't seem so devastating. If I can just immerse myself in thoughts of Him, my emotions won't matter, my opinions won't be so heavy, and my flesh won't be SUCH A FREAKIN ANNOYANCE! To be wrapped up in His presence. To hear Him speak. To know that no matter what happens moments from now, nothing can take away this peace and joy that the Lord has given me. Its taken me a good while to be able to say..."hey God, I know things are hard, but I love you fa real and I'm still gonna have a praise on my lips." And now that I've gotten to that point (for the most part), I don't struggle to praise much anymore. It's not a hard to get into His presence. Praying is actually enjoyable.

Problems are real. This flesh is real. However, our Father in Heaven, the King of Glory who founded the earth on the seas, has made His peace and joy available to us. Dive in. Take advantage of all the Lord is offering.

I pray that you live. I pray that whatever is plaguing your spirit will be a memory; a testimony of what the Lord has brought you through. I pray that you are able to drop your worries and fears about tomorrow, and allow God to take care of you today. I pray that those chains that were once wrapped around you, hindering you, holding you in place, are broken. I pray that you walk in the love and joy of Jesus Christ. After all, it is yours for the taking. ♥

~My life is no longer my own~

Le 4 de Juillet!!

I had the best 4th of July without BBQ ever.

I once thought that it was the ribs, bbq beans, and potato salad that made the 4th of July. It was the ruthless sun which caused blinding reflections off of cars passing by. It was the annoying crackle of the bad kids next door setting off fire crackers. It was the sun tea that grandma made that morning. It was the ice cream man that would drive by when the sun was beginning to set.

This year I didn't have any of that. No ribs, beans, and potato salad. No sun tea. (I did have however some bad kids next door setting of 'works and the ruthless sun).

This was my first 4th in Chicago...one of my favorite cities.

Courtney and I were just kidding about spending the 4th in Chicago to see a few friends of ours. Well our little joke turned into a reality. Next thing we knew, we were on a plane to Chicago, being picked up by a brother named Tim (who talked about absolutely everything on the way back, such as bears and cougars running loose in Chicago. huh???), and walking up the the drive to Pastor Niecy's (aka Godmom) home, which is where we'd be staying for the weekend.

We were aware that the Taste of Chicago was going on and it had crossed our minds that we may grace this annual festival with our presence for a short while. Well Pastor Niecy said it like this..."You are coming to spend the week-end with your Godmother, so go on and cancel all your little plans." In fact, she referred to it as the "salmonella ridden cesspool." Needless to say, we never made it to the taste (lol) which was okay by me. I couldn't have asked for a better week-end. We even changed our flights to leave at a later time so we could spend a little more time with our Chicago family.

I must say, I never thought I'd be kicking it at Pastor Niecy's crib. I was so nervous! simply because this woman is not fooled by facades and words. She is also honest beyond belief, to the point where you just never know what come out of her mouth. (lol) She also is one of the most loving and self-sacrificing people I have ever met. I love her to life!

So we spent the weekend with Godmommy, eating way too much food, going to church, eating more food, shopping, chilling at the house, being very aware of her pit bull's (Duke is his name) every move, and eating. We also met some pret-ty cool people, and got the chance to chill with the other Ray sisters (Ms. Tanya, Ms. Cheryl, and Pastor Kim) for a bit. My most memorable times were just sitting around in her den, eating (of course) and talking about whatever subject came up, and listening to different thoughts, ideas, and pure wisdom travel around the room from ear to ear. This was a week-end to remember.

I am grateful to God for enriching my life with such beautiful people, inside and out.

I ♥ Chicago....and can't wait to be back!