No Reason to Smile

I am not the same as I was when I took my first steps.

I'm currently at work. Smiling for no particular reason other than...well, I'm me, God is God, and life is good. Lately I've been kind of sad and keeping to myself a bit more. I haven't really felt like chillin or talkin to people much. Well that's over.

I had a bad situation pop up, but that is all that it was; a bad situation. Things and people come and go like waves in an ocean, and just like the waves, you can't stop them. So I'm learning to let people be people, allow me to be me, and let God take care of everything in between. Isn't it funny how one instance can change your entire day, week, or even life. But what is life if not a series of instances designed and predestined to impact the next?

I'm at work listening to Ginny Owens and just started smiling for NO reason. I realized I haven't blogged in a while and just decided that I may just be in the mood to write one. My thought at this very moment: I have joy. I have the joy of the Lord and although nothing is currently going on I am just happy to know God and have another day to walk on this Earth and represent Him the best that I can. Is that not worth a smile?

Blu21

I haven't written about Blu21 in quite a while. I've been on a small mental break from Blu21 for a couple of reasons. I haven't felt like I was in a position to minister. So in Jamaica, Stix and I played probably 3 or 4 times at different things. The day after we arrived we ministered How Great is Our God at the church service in Kingston. I LOVED IT!!!! When we got up there I was nervous on the sly because there was a lot of people there and I HATE those moments when people are following you with your eyes as you make it to the stage. NERVE RACKING!!! But anyway, after we began, everyone worshipped, and I was free. I was free to tell God how GREAT He is. I forgot about everyone else in that room, even if it was only for a few moments. It was God and I. I opened my eyes for a bit and saw everyone with their hands lifted and giving the attention of which we so often rob Him. AWESOMENESS!!!

Then we ministered on and off with the band throughout the week. Our theme song was Indescribable by Chris Tomlin. I LOVE that song!! Everyone was like...omg I never wanna hear that song again. But I mean...think about those words:

Indescribable

Uncontainable

You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name

You are amazing God

All powerful

Untamable

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

The song is just about how GREAT and BIG and AWESOME our God is. I could never get tired of it. At one point Auntie Janeth (the founder of the organization we were serving with) asked me if I knew the song. I was like..."yea, I know the chorus." Then out of no where she called me up to sing it ALONE. OMG. Ok, so it wasn't out of no where. I mean looking back, why else would she ask me if I knew it? I wasn't thinking really. If I was I prolly woulda been like..."ummm nope. Sure don't." LOL

Blu21 also played at a service in the park in Chapelton. That night was powerful. There is something about being in nature to come see about God. I mean, I have experienced some powerful things in a building. God can sweep through a room and leave you on the ground, weighted down by the pressure of His glory. But when you are outside, no air conditioning, an abundance of bugs, clouds, wind, and voices lifted up to the sky in praises, you experience something different. It's like you are going to meet God instead of the other way around. That may not be the best way to describe it, but I don't know how else to. It's like being in God's habitat instead of Him coming into ours. Needless to say, I loved it. We ministered Broken; "I want to be broken before you." The sound was acting kinda funny, but I prayed before our performance that God remove any hindrances from my heart and rest on each word and note played. When I feel like I have laid down my worries, my mind, I feel like God has the opportunity to move.

At the end of the open air service, serval people came up for salvation. THAT IS THE POINT!! The point is not for people to hear you and give compliments. The points is not to fulfill some religious obligation to one another. The point is not to give God a few hours so we can rid ourselves of some feeling of duty or guilt. The point is to lead souls to Christ. Nothing is more important, and when I saw those people come up to that alter I felt this peace like...this is what it's about. It not about our feelings man. It's about this.

Today Blu21 ministered at the youth service at Born Again Church (My church home in Nashville). Ok, I'm sure you're tired of hearing me say this but...I LOVED IT!!! LOL I LOVED being down there watching the young folks just love God. We sang God I Love You. My FAVORITE Blu21 song. I love it because it's simply and it expresses everything that needs to be expressed; God I love you, God I need you, God I want you, I am nothing without you. I didn't actually play the guitar today. Stix was playin my electric so everyone could hear her more, and her acoustic that I was playing did not sound good with the electric. So I just held it and sang. (My string broke on my acoustic so I needs to go ahead and get me some strangs). Anywho...I LOVE just singing and not playing. First of all, I ain't got that kind of skill just yet where I can play and sing without strugglin just a lil bit. I am improving, but I'm not there yet. So I just sang. We received compliments which was cool of course. Those always feel good, but Sister Kitty said something that meant so much. She said that she knew our words were real and came from a deep and heartfelt place, and that they touched the kids. That's all that really mattered man. Bump all the compliments, they heard the words beyond my voice. They heard the notes because Stix strumming. They talked to God from their own personal place, and said some simple words: God I Love You.

I've got a few new songs that I've written for Blu21. I haven't played them all for Stix, but I will soon. I feel a lot better about playing again. Whatever was going on that was trying to attack our ministry did not succeed, simply because God says when enemies come they will stumble and fall (Psalm 27). So whatever the attack, in my mind or otherwise, it did not prosper. Thank you Jesus. I'm excited to see Stix's reaction to the songs. At first I thought they weren't Blu21 songs because the sound is very different from what we've written prior to, but we'll see if they end up under the Blu21 umbrella-ella-ella. (lol)

School

Well whats to say except...it starts tomorrow. I am going for my Masters in Counseling, which is cool. I'm excited to have that under my belt. It will only take 4 semesters. People say that undergrad is in many ways a greater challenge than many grad programs, so altogether I'm not nervous. But I am apprehensive about the whole thing cuz Lord knows that sometimes, I don't FREAKING feel like going to class, reading a textbook, writing a paper, listening to professors, paying THOUSANDS of dollars... But I also know that God is going to use this training as part of my ministry, otherwise I wouldn't feel to pressed to go. I mean...ain't one degree enough for a simple worship musician? lol...nope.. have you seen our economy??? LOL

So I'm going in prepared to study (hopefully. I've never really studies all that much before) and learn all that I need to learn in order to go to the next step. I'm ready God. I'll let y'all know how the first week goes.

I feel like some things are coming to an end. This has been a great summer. I've met wonderful people and developed GREAT relationships. So let's call it an end and move to the next phase...but only with you Jesus.

** I wonder if people get tired of reading about "God" and "Jesus" in my blogs??? Awww, I'm sorry, but if that's the case, stop reading my blogs. There is nothing else I'd rather talk about than God and how He reveals Himself in my life. SO, and I quote; "That's that on that" (Quote from Sophie, Melissa, and Sabrina).

I am not the same as I was when I took my first steps.

Call me Jel