BLAAHHH

SO...it's summer vacation. Most students are ridiculously happy when it comes time for summer vacation; no class, the pool is open, it's pretty freakin hot, it's time for short-shorts, road trips, yada yada yada...



Well all of this is true for my summer vacation as well...but i'm just not that excited about it. I'm working a lot which is good, cuz I have a radical credit card bill that I have to pay off. WAIT...before you jump to the conclusion that I am an irresponsible spender; just know...I'M NOT. I was feeling generous and a few members of my family were in need of some things. Now I don't see it as generous as much as foolish. HEY! I'm learning to say "no" okay? In fact, I'm waiting for the next time one of the fam asks me for something out of my reach, just so I can test my own self. i will say no i will say no i will say no i will say no i will say no



AND then there's this mission trip to Jamaica that several people from my church are going on and I sooo wanna go. At the beginning I was like..heck yea, I'M GOIN'. Well, things are looking a little differently. I'm not getting the support that I thought I would get, and I'm a little discouraged about that. Well, at first I was a lot discouraged. Nope...I was pissed. Ladies and gentlemen, I was freakin livid. But now...I'm not so much pissed as a little disappointed. I have come to the conclusion that I just want to be where God wants me to be. If He wants me in Jamaica, that is where I'll be. If He wants me right here in TN, that's where I'll be (I just got a really weird case of deja vu lol). If He wants me in Iowa (Please Lord, anywhere but there), that is where I HAVE to go. I just need to be where He wants me to be. Gotta be in His will, ya know???



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BLU21!!



Have I told you about our 2nd gig? Yup, we have another one. Its May31st at Mt. Zion in Spring Hill, TN. I'm so excited. Its at a youth worship night. All I can see is God moving in that place. I love the thought of being able to lead people my age and younger into worship! I see Stix and I just playin and worshipping and God coming down and touching and changing lives, and people having a different type of experience with God. I want our music to do just that...usher people into a new place with God. I think that's what God wants from Blu21 because as of lately, He has been shakin some stuff up..in me at least, can't speak for stix. People and things that I depended on have bended a bit...and I am realizing that although God wants me to be able to be open with people, that is an action of trusting Him, and not people. I have to trust God enough to allow myself to be open with others. SO...He's called some things about myself to my attention. Instead of being mad when situations and people don't turn out the way I want them to, I'm learning that it was all for the purpose of learning how to STILL trust God, regardless of how everything turns out.



Wheeeewww, major tangent. Ok, BLU21



I cannot wait until the 31st, but we still have some work to do. We're not sure of what songs we are performing. I have no idea what I'm wearing. We have this BLU21 graphic that is pretty cool. Everyone that has seen it loves it...so we may make that into a shirt...I already have 2 buyers!!! AND we need business cards and a press release. Okay, this is now seeming like a lot. I just need to pray LOL.



Thank you God for the opportunity to express my love for you through worship

Help us to be open, so that you can speak your words through us

Let our listeners hear only you, and not us

Holy spirit, remind us that our gifts are for the glory of God

Continue to mold me so that my heart is perfect toward you



Amen



CaLl Me Jel